Candor: The Coronation
(And lots of interpersonal drama)
CANDOR: AN HOUR AFTER THE CORONATION
The coronation ends, and members of the SRC are free to greet their families, who have witnessed this historic event in the nearby special guests' box. The guards stand at the periphery, keeping an eye on things as the rest of the guests trickle away to prepare for the night's great celebrations.
Valere is surrounded by his brother Phillipe, his sister-in-law Iris, and his parents, all of whom take turns admiring him in his shining armor, congratulating him on his new position as an elite guard for the new dominarch, and hugging him senseless. Even Cleante, still not in very good favor with Lord Hunabar, shakes Valere's hand and allows as how his younger brother has made something of himself despite all expectations.
Nora stands glowing with her royal children, as proud as any mother could possibly be as they hug their grandfathers. Caprice and Hari stand together, politely speaking to the high priest of the Church of Bel in Candor and sneaking furtive glances at each other that Caprice's grandmere is not too old to notice and mutter to herself over. Halkem is there with his pregnant wife, accepting congratulations on both his accomplishments and their impending parenthood. Minimin is surrounded by members of the Watchful Order, especially the lessor members that he has surpassed in rank who are sucking up to him to curry favor. They seem impressed that Min is now rubbing shoulders with the likes of Chrysostom, guildmistress of Candor and ranking member of the royal council of mages, the Ouija Board. Pip greets his father and his sister and goes through the same ritual as the others, hugging and congratulations. Querida, looking positively radiant for the occasion, hovers nearby, resting an hand on his arm whenever there is occasion. However, something is missing - Amandiel and the children are painfully missing from the tableau that surrounds Pip.
At last the crowd disperses and the SRC retreat to a private room in the palace for some rest before the official revelries begin. The young dominarch and his companions are sent to bed for a much-needed nap, other family members drift off to either nap, change, or see a bit of the big city before dinner, and the Company has a chance to sit and relax with each other and their closest friends.
Soon after the boys have gone to their chambers and the family members have left, Valere speaks to Pip.
"Amandiel and your children weren't present at the ceremony," Valere says, looking at his friend with a caring, intese gaze. "I noticed on the ship on our way here, but with everyone else present, thought it best not to bring up at the time. What is going on Pip? Where is your family?"
Pip's eyes look past his friend -- his voice just as distant. "They are home Valere, and for the time being, safe. Not my home, of course, but that is not unexpected. My babies are fast asleep in their crib and Amandiel rests fitfully in her bed. I would ask the Oneiromancer to send her comfort in her dreams, but he has made his non-interference policy abundantly clear. Besides, what could he possibly show her that would make it all right? It isn't going to be alright Valere. Not for us. Maybe not for anybody."
Pip shifts his gaze to Valere, his eyes coming into focus. "We've changed my friend. Both of us. You have become more godlike, a fierce reflection of Bel's leonine aspect. I, however, have only become less human." He holds us a hand to forestall Valere's argument, continuing the thought in the paladin's head. *What? You don't think so? Look around Valere, observe how people see you and the others. You are honored and revered. Me, they respect and fear. You are the chosen of the sun god. I am the painful reminder of a terrible plague.*
There is no expression on Phillip's face. *I made a choice Valere. Duty over love. You made a similar choice not too long ago as I recall. I believe you came to regret your decision. I do not have that luxury. I made a mistake when I married Amandiel. I truly believed that the fates were done with me, that I had served my purpose and could settle down and live out my life. It is apparent that I had only just earned my role in the events to come.*
*I've glimpsed the future Valere. The only certainty is that my place is here, with you and the others.*
Valere listens intently to his friend, then responds out loud in a calm and matter of fact tone, refusing to hold this conversation mentally. "You are only less human because you choose to be. Your own fear and constant dread are reflected back on you. Even now you fear, speaking to me with your substantial powers rather than talk to me like a man." Valere sighs. "So you say that marrying Amandiel was a mistake. I, however, disagree. You were in LOVE with her Pip. I was THERE. I saw it in you both. You were two people in love. That was no mistake. And now you complain because things didn't go the way you planned them? So that give you liberty to walk away from your love? And your CHILDREN? Pip - are your CHILDREN a mistake as well?"
"I have made many difficult decisions during these trying times, but at this point I cannot say I regret them. I am sorry for the position my family found itself in at that moment, but as I predicted then, they have recovered and are doing fine. We LOVE each other, Pip - and that's what really counts."
"You say your future is with me and the SRC. Really? Once we win this war - then what? Once this quest is completed... will you simply lay down and die? Then what are you doing it for? If there is nothing waiting for you on the other side, why take this journey? I thought you were doing this FOR Amandiel and your Children - for LOVE - so you can have that quiet simple life that you dream of. But if you are willing to give it away now so easily, then you are dishonoring not only Amandiel, your Children and their love for you, but also yourself. Remember that Caren entrusted you with Hope. Do not lose that hope now."
Valere reaches out and clasps Pip's hand in both of his own. "Phillip,
I love you, and I am your friend no matter what. But listen to me... you love her still. I can see it in you. Go to her. Tell her how you FEEL. Cry in her arms. Pour your heart open to her. Don't try to convince her of anything, or explain the situation, or expect her to intellectualize what's going on. She misses you, she loves you, she wants you to be with her to protect her and the children. She is being your WIFE. Be honest with her and share your feelings. She will listen."
"Pip, she can save you."
"But can I save her?" Pip quietly asks his friend. "When push comes to shove, can I keep the darkness from overwhelming those I love?" Pip laughs -- an ugly, bitter sound. "Do you even need to answer that? I've heard them singing ballads of our deeds these past few days, recounting our incredible victories over impossible odds. But would they still be singing if they knew the other stories, the ones we keep to ourselves? For every Theophany tale, there are a dozen 'guarding a building on one side' and 'Dinner with Queen Teskil' stories longing to be told. For every city we've saved, there are a dozen friends and family members we've failed and doomed to a horrible fate." Pip chuckles at Valere's disappointed expression.
"What? You disagree? Tell that to Thax and the Roses. Ask Benedict and his wife and their beautiful children. Perhaps we should see what Lyndon Melshimber and Van Richten have to say about it. Maybe Eyvan will consult Thame for us."
Pip's voice is cold. "Caren the Sower bade me to maintain hope. So why is it everywhere we go Caren the Reaper follows? Amandiel was right. Darkness trails after us. Fire! Light! What do these things have in common Valere? Anything that gets too close to us casts terrible shadows. The closer they get, the darker those shadows become."
"I've seen what lurks in those shadows Valere. We may yet defeat them, but the cost is going to be terrible indeed. The endgame is nigh and our 'luck' such as it is, will not hold out forever."
"I'm sorry Valere. I know you mean well, but Amandiel asked me to choose between my love for her and my duty to the SRC. What would you do in my place, lay down your sword and wait for the dawn? I can't even convince one woman that my cause is just. How does Bel expect me to spread the light of hope to the masses? If defeating the SS and retrieving the Four Swords doesn't impress upon her the importance of what we are doing, just what kind of miracle is it going to take to get her to acknowledge my role and responsibility in these astonishing events? How can I show her that I am not choosing duty over love, but rather duty out of love?"
Valere shakes his head. "You need to get out of your head an into
your heart. You only see the bad in everything, and never the good.
And there is plenty of good, if you would only open your eyes."
Valere sighs a heavy sigh. "You are no good to us this way, Pip. You
cannot both hold hope and be hopeless. You must find your way out of
this darkness. We will do all that we can to aid you, but most of this
is going to have to come from you. The next steps will be more
difficult than anything we have done before, and for your own good I
will not send you into our enemies camp when you are overcome with the
feelings of your own doom and failure."
Valere raises a hand to cut off Pip's inevitable retort. "You need to
reacquaint yourself with your old swagger, my friend. Your confidence
in yourself, in your cause, in the Sun Rose Company, even in this
world is gone. You cannot fight for what you believe in if you do not
believe in anything."
"You need to find your soul again. I believe that your soul lies with
Amandiel and your children. I believe that she does love you, and
would not ask you to choose if she new that you loved her as well. But
I've seen you together, and you are as aloof with her as you are with
the rest of the world. You cannot simply TELL her that you have
feelings for her. You cannot simply TELL her that the reason you are
away from her and your children for months on end is because you love
her. You must show her in ways that are meaningful to HER. Swallow
your pride, apologize, and woo her, Pip."
"Instead, you isolate yourself from the world and complain that you
are alone. Where others see light, you see shadow. Where others see
fire as warmth, you only see the chill around the corner." Valere
raises his hand again. "And do not relegate me with more woes about
how you've SEEN the evil and SEEN the doom. You've also seen the good,
and you've seen the victory and you've seen the light. You were there
for all the good things just as I was, only you choose to ignore them.
You must now make another choice."
Valere gazes intently into Pip's eyes. "You need to go find your soul,
my friend. Until you do that, you can no longer serve the SRC. Trust
yourself, and learn to trust others. You need to let people in, Pip,
or you are truly as doomed as you claim you are."
"You have changed Valere. You are still the man I have known all these years, but yet you are more. Truly you have found your path." He looks away. "Just as surely as I have stepped off of mine."
Pip shrugs. " I suppose I should be upset to have you dissect me so succinctly, but if I can't hear it from you, who can I hear it from? My failures have been your failures, my successes yours as well."
"I *have* isolated myself Valere -- I've tried to stop feeling the pain and the guilt, but I've only made those feelings more intense by also turning away from the feelings that might heal them."
Pip chuckles again, but this time the sound is more relaxed. "Look, just because I can read your mind doesn't mean I can fathom my own."
His voice becomes small, the pain evident. "I miss them Valere. So many friends dead and gone. Sometimes I wish I weren't human...."
"What if she rejects me? How will I go on knowing that she doesn't love me anymore?"
"And what if we had left Percifal in the Unders? What if you hadn't
attacked the Illithid Demi-God? What if... what if... You cannot live
your life by what-if's." Valere grins warmly. "If we hadn't tried
those things, we would never had known that we could succeed. You have
to trust in your beliefs, and not be afraid to fail. For if you are
afraid to fail, you cannot achieve success."
"I miss our friends too. And I have much grief over the deaths of both
our friends, and those valiant soldiers who have fought so bravely for
what they believe in. Hundreds that we don't know at all. One thing is
unfortunately inevitable, the deaths will continue. However, we must
not lose faith in our cause and our path. We ARE doing what is right,
even if we falter occasionally on the way. We cannot be everywhere to
protect everyone that we would like to. We have to know that what we
do will have a long term impact on ALL people, and we will simply do
the best we can do. And know that it WILL be good enough."
"As far as Amandiel goes. You know she loves you, and you know you
love her. That can heal any wound if you let it Pip. You might be
surprised what some genuine attention and pampering will gain you.
And I don't say this thinking that she is a shallow woman - far from
it. She is a Thongolier, and is as proud and strong as they come.
Embrace her as your partner, let her in to your fears and sorrow.
Show her that you love her in the ways that she wants you to. If she
wants flowers, buy her a cartful. If she wants an apology, give her a
dozen. Surrender to her completely, Pip. You do not have to protect
yourself from Love. Let Love protect you from the hell that we will
surely face in the days to come."
Valere smiles. "Now, what are you still sitting around here for? If
you hurry, you might even succeed in getting a date for the party
tonight." Valere winks. "Unless you are previously committed to
escorting Querida, she is looking mighty fine this evening."
Pip walks across the room and gathers his stuff. "I have to see a man about a dress. If I'm not at the party, it means I went after Iron Scream alone in a futile attempt to cheat fate."
Pip will bow and then teleport off to find a tailor to make a dress for his
wife. While the poor tailor is gathering his materials, Pip will attempt to track down some roses.
Once he has a tailor, a hairdresser and more roses than is practical, he will teleport them all to the Thongolir estate and seek an audience with his wife.
Earle Remington excuses himself to get a coffee while Pip goes to the
Thongolir estate bearing gifts. The butler raises an eyebrow, escorts him
and his guests to the library, and vanishes to find Amandiel.
After a nerve-wracking wait of about ten minutes, Amandiel walks into
the room and gasps at the sight of all of the flowers....
Meanwhile, elsewhere, Hari gets a grilling:
"Sit down," Therese Toussaint snaps. The aseku slowly lowers himself
into a chair, looking nervous. She fixes him with a draconian stare.
"What's your name again?"
"Hari. Hari Bhaskar." He looks puzzled. She's known him almost a year now.
"Merde, boy -- I mean your real name!"
Taken aback, he stares a moment before answering.
"Analanhilhu R'shanajratihari Abhavacarao," he says at last.
The wizened black woman snorts, turns, and picks up a bottle of rum
from the bar beside her. Two crystal glasses are quickly fished from the
bar and slammed down between them. The liquid gurgles as she fills the
glasses to the brim.
"What's that mouthful mean, then?" she demands.
"A literal translation wouldn't make any sense."
"Then give me the gist, boy! Oshun, I thought Caprice said you were a
scholar." She slides the glass toward him, pushing it with the bottom of the
bottle. He cautiously picks it up and flinches back as the fumes assault his
sinuses.
"I don't drink anymore..."
"And I," she says warningly, "don't trust a man who _doesn't_ drink.
'He who fears his tongue might be loosened has something to hide behind
it.'"
He shakes his head, confused.
"I don't have anything to hide. I just haven't --"
"Then drink up. What's wrong with you aseku, always wasting an old
woman's time -- you think everyone lives for centuries?"
"But you're the one who --" He falls silent beneath her withering gaze
and slowly lifts the glass again, takes a sip, catches a startled breath.
"Bel! It's been a long time."
"Go on, boy, I've had to sit through enough of your ancestorless
rituals," she says sourly. "Now pay your respects to the loa and drink like
a real man."
He visibly steels himself and takes a mouthful, gasping as it burns its
way down.
"The name," she prompts.
"Right." He sounds a little out of breath. "I don't speak Cappadocian, so I'll have to translate it into Empyrian --"
"Yes, yes, you're beating around the bush like a drunken teenager on his first date. Stop fumbling around and get on with it!"
He takes another drink, face red.
"'Against nonexistence fate holds no peril,'" he says.
"C'est gentil," she says skeptically. "What's it mean?"
"It's a form of jhere'atu --"
"Eh?"
"Uh, a type of aseku poetry?"
Therese Toussaint leans forward and refills his glass, then pulls a
leather pouch from one of her skirts. Hari watches, as fascinated as a
sparrow eyeing an adder, as she pulls out two thick, black cigars. The
smell from the tobacco threatens to overcome the haze of rum fumes.
"Well, I can see why you use a nickname," she says. "I could die of
old age learning to pronounce it." She lays the cigars on the table.
"Hari is fine. It means 'Fate.'"
"Aye, and how old are you?"
"About a hundred and ten."
"So what are you doing chasing around a nineteen-year-old human girl,
'Fate'? Aren't there any aseku women left for you to lech after? Or is
this some kind of aseku kink?"
His flush deepens.
"I'm not chasing -- I'm not -- lechery has nothing to --"
"For a man who's over a century old, you stammer like a boy caught with his hands down his pants." She gives him a narrow look. "You aren't a
virgin, are you?"
"I can't imagine how that's relevant to this discussion."
"Oh, and what do you fancy we're discussing?" She fishes out a pair of
scissors from her skirt.
"Er, you seem to think I have designs on your granddaughter...."
"Do you?"
"No!"
"Ah-hah, then you're simply lying to her?"
"No!"
"You'd better not be, else it'll go badly for you," she says darkly, picking up the cigars. With two quick snips the ends fall off. Hari hastily takes another drink. "Caprice seems to think you two have prospects."
"She said that?" He looks up, expression a mixture of startlement and
curiosity.
The old lady cackles and strikes a tindertwig against the tabletop. For a moment she can say nothing as she lights both cigars. Hari coughs as blue smoke begins to fill the air.
"I've got eyes to see and ears to hear," she intones, handing him one of the odorous cigars. "She's after you like a croc after a cripple, and I'd say you've got about as much chance of escape, too."
Hari ponders the comparison a moment before turning his attention back to the point.
"Then you already know...."
"If you two want to hide your infatuation, you should stop going all
honey-eyed each time you look at each other. Have you slept together yet?"
"Good heavens! No!"
"Good." She points the end of her cigar at him. "You'd better not, either, not until the right sacrifices have been made and the two of you have jumped the broom together."
Hari looks like he's about to ask a question, then shakes his head
sharply.
"Mrs. Toussaint, I think there's been a misunderstanding."
"Wouldn't surprise me. I can't figure out half of what you're saying. Now draw in the smoke and let the spirits work."
Hari gingerly holds the cigar as though afraid it's going to bite him.
"I don't smoke. It'll make me sick."
"It's yon little boy's rug now, not mine. You can do whatever you want
on it."
"Mrs. Toussaint -- if I do what you say, will you give me a chance to
speak?"
"I've been waiting long enough, haven't I? It's about time you moved
things along."
Hari takes a mouthful of rum, shudders, braces himself, and draws on the cigar. A moment later, choking, he sets it down on the table. Caprice's grandmother watches with interest as the paladin fights to catch his breath and straighten up again.
"There," he says hoarsely. "Please tell me the spirits are satisfied."
"Eh, at least they're paying attention. I made a sacrifice to Erzulie this morning to make certain she's listening in on this, but it never hurts to keep the rest happy, either." She refills his glass. "Now speak up, boy. I'm not aseku; I don't have another century or two to wait around for you to get to the point."
"You know that I've been serving --" Hari pauses as the old lady snorts, "as Caprice's bodyguard at Father Nicodemus' request --"
"None of it was your idea?"
"I appointed myself Caprice's guardian in Gedding Gaol because she was young, female, and a cleric of Bel -- she could get hurt by some of those villains -- but I hadn't expected to ever leave the gaol, much less be called back to service by the Church --"
"If you hadn't, what would you have done once the gaol was gone and
your leg was healed up?"
"I suppose ... I don't know. If things had been different, if the world had been at peace ... I guess I would have found some other place where I could try to do some good."
"So you'd just hie off and leave my little granddaughter alone?" She sounds offended, and her resemblance to a dark, malevolant dragon is only increased by the rings of smoke around her head.
"I said, if the world had been at peace!"
"But it's not, so serving her has been a chore, has it?"
"No! No -- I've been very proud to serve your grandaughter, Mrs. Toussaint. Caprice is a determined, serious young woman with a deep sense of moral responsibility, but very little experience. I'm afraid that I haven't been able to protect her from the evils of the world, nobody can do that,
but at least I've been with her to meet them." Hari takes another drink, feeling the brink recede a little. "I expect to serve her until death."
"What good's a dead suitor going to be to her?" Caprice's grandmother asks scornfully. "Or is death preferable to marriage? You spend a lot of time hiding, don't you? Hiding behind a stack of books, for example?"
"I never said anything like that!"
"Caprice said you swapped in your broadsword for a book, didn't you?
First you hide behind books, and then behind bars?"
"It wasn't like that! I traded a life of warfare for a life of contemplation..."
"Because of a broken heart? Lost love?"
"No." Hari looks confused. "I simply felt that I'd find more truth through studying and meditation than through bashing heads." He blinks
owlishly, looks down at his glass. "Did I actually say 'bashing'?"
"And you're starting to slur," she says approvingly. "Have another puff, now, it'll sober you up."
Hari obeys, dubiously, and burst into another round of coughing. The
smoke has no perceptible effect on his enunciation, although it does make him pale a little.
"Ever have any amoureux at all?" Therese Toussaint presses.
"The Families had arranged a marriage, but it fell through."
"Why? Your or her?"
"Just circumstances. The Shattering Wars had started, and everything was going to hell, and it just didn't seem like the right time to get married. And then there was the Domination War...."
"So she's still out there?"
"Presumably. I haven't spoken to her in decades. The declaration period lapsed, so unless we agree to swear a promise again before the Families...."
"Where is she now?"
"I don't know. Like I said, it's been, mm, fifty years, maybe?"
"So you would have been half your age now, when you were going to get married?"
"I guess so, yes." Hari takes another drink to counteract the effect of the cigar smoke.
"One fiancee, no quick flings?"
"I'm a paladin!" Hari protests, sounding hurt.
"I've known plenty of randy paladins," Therese Toussaint says dismissively. "But fair enough; we'll say you've done nothing worth raising an eyebrow at. Any odd tastes?"
"I beg your pardon?"
"Monks, prisons, what-have-you ... all this abstinence hasn't been because you have an eye for other men, is it? Or boys, or sheep, or anything my little granddaughter should be warned about?"
"No. No -- but you sound as if I'm going to --"
"Sleep with Caprice? I already told you what'll happen to you if you
try that without my permission." She glares.
"We only kissed once or twice, but --"
"And you'll leave it at kissing if you know what's good for you, or I'll have Erzulie put a curse on you that'll make your privates look like two raisins dangling from a dry stalk."
"Mrs. Toussaint," Hari says, affronted, "I'm an honorable man, and I swear, I have no desire to take advantage of your granddaughter."
"That's not what she hopes," the old woman says sharply. "And if I find that you're leading her on --."
"Wait -- wait! I'm sorry. Can we start over? You're moving too
quickly --"
"I told you, I don't have a century to wait around. You'll either do right by her soon or I'll kick you off and let someone younger and less wishy-washy take his chances."
"Wishy-washy?"
"That's Cappadocian." Hari's disbelieving look falters under her grim glare. "It means take a crap or pull up your pants, but don't just let it wave in the wind, boy."
The paladin runs a hand over his face.
"I can't believe you just said that."
"No? Wasn't I clear? My Empyrian isn't as bad as I let people think, but sometimes the nuances get lost in the translation."
"No, I think that was plenty nun -- non -- nuanced enough. Listen --"
"I notice when you described Caprice, you didn't say a think about her looks," Therese Toussaint says suspiciously.
Hari lifts his hands in despair.
"I don't think I've been able to finish a sentence since I stepped into this room!"
"You've spluttered out one or two, but I must say, you don't express yourself very well for man who's spent several decades calling himself a
scholar." Therese Toussaint cackles within her shroud of cigar smoke. "Do you think she's pretty, then?"
"Caprice is beautiful. And I'll do whatever I can to serve her and make her happy -- wait, don't interrupt!" The old woman settles back into her seat, eyes sharp, as Hari continues. "And yes, I will treat her with respect. I couldn't do any less and honor my oaths to either Caprice or Bel. Does that satisfy you, or do I need to swear it all on one of your blood-drinking loa?"
"I thought aseku were supposed to be soft-spoken," she says.
"Not under interrogation and torture!" His gesture takes in the nearly empty bottle of rum and the burning cigars -- and sloshes some rum over the brim of his glass. The old woman's eyes gleam.
"A man who can't hold his own against his mother-in-law won't be any good around the house. I won't have Caprice marrying just anyone, you
know."
Hari gives the old woman his own suspicious look.
"So, is this your way of giving me permish -- permission to ask Caprice
to marry me?"
"The sooner the better. No use asking tonight and stealing the Destined King's thunder, but you might try in the next week or so."
"I -- we -- now, just a minute," Hari stammers. "We hardly even know each other! Aseku customs require considerably more time to get acquainted,
especially outside a Family -- we just don't do things this quickly!"
"That'll be fine for her in the marriage bed, but it's no good beforehand. When is this pissing match with the dieux en métal scheduled?"
"Nobody knows. The way things are going -- a year, maybe. If we knew --"
"I'll give you three months, then, or I sacrifice a bull to Erzulie and we open the field to a likelier lad."
"But -- Mrs. Toussaint, you said it yourself! Caprice is only nineteen, and that's young even for a human. I expected that we'd wait another two, three years, at least --"
"An optimist, are you? Well, I'm not, and mon petit bébé isn't going to die on some battlefield without having known a good man, first."
"Er -- thank you?"
"That man doesn't have to be _you_, 'Fate.' Three months, and see that you behave yourself until then!"
Hari starts to stand, staggers, and carefully sets down his glass before standing.
"How come the donim - damnin - Destined King isn't siccing _you_ on the Metal Gods?" he asks.
"Who says he isn't?" She leans back in her chair, glass of rum in one hand, stogie on the other, and laughs. "You might be surprised, young man!"
Shaking his head in surrender, Hari cautiously picks his way out of the
smoke-filled room and heads upstairs to take a long, sobering bath.
Back to Pip and Amandiel:
Pip walks over to his wife and hands her a single rose. "I've been a terrible fool Amandiel. I see that now and I hope that you can find it in your heart to forgive me for it. I've tried so hard to shield you from the darkness that surrounds us, never realizing that it is you -- your love -- that could protect me from the evil that would claim my body and soul. It is your strength that gives me strength and without you I am a hollow shell of a man."
He gently takes his wife's hand. "I understand that you are angry at me. Rightly so. I lied to you. I justified it to myself as protecting you from things I thought you could not handle when in fact I was merely protecting myself from the possibility that you would reject me when you learned the unpleasant truths. I didn't give you enough credit that you would be able to look past my terrible undeath or my burgeoning Coryphei abilities. I love you Amandiel. Unconditionally. But how could I expect you to love me
knowing the awful truth? Sometimes I even scare myself. The thought that you might reject me....that you might be afraid of me.....I couldn't face that."
"I can't change what I am. I can only change *how* I am. I promise I will never take you for granted again. My first duty is to you and our children and if I cannot keep hope alive in my own home, how will I ever spread that hope to others? Together I think we can get through this."
Amandiel's eyes light up, and the strain eases in her face as she gives
Pip a long, tight hug, then a melting kiss. He sees tears welling beneath
her lids again, but this time they're tears of relief and hope....
Pip will set that sight into his flawless memory so that it will keep him strong in the trials to come. He holds her in his arms and whispers to her softly. "Come with me my love -- join me at the coronation ball. I couldn't dream of going without you. I promise you that it will be a night to remember."
"All right," she says, still holding him. "But - we need to bring the
children. And poor Marie-Catherine." She sighs heavily under her burden of
cares. "Pip, Pip ... I'm glad you came back. I can't do this alone,
either."
