Next time you ask for advice, tell me what the hell you really need. You've apparently raised textual obfuscation to an art form since we last met.

It's been about four years on this plane since we last corresponded, and things are heating up in Glenzor. Since Zed died, King Chulan has started a neoconservative movement that's plunged the whole continent into war with Arthenon - orcs versus elves. As if that wasn't enough, there's a third faction waiting in the sidelines - Zed's son, the paladin, has his eyes on the throne. Once he declares, he'll get a lot of popular support, since the orcs respect him as Zed's son, and the elves trust him as a paladin.

I've taken a stance behind Chulan. The status quo is in my favor, even if the cuisine and arts have taken a plunge since the elves were all thrown out. If the elves win, I might have a chance to keep most of my current privileges, but if Zed's son wins, I know he'll throw me out of the city or do something incredibly inane like call for individual equality (as if most of the people in town could ever aspire to be my equal! - if they want privileges, let them go out and earn them, like I did!). Still, since most of my acquaintances stand behind Zed's son, I'm walking a political and social tightrope. So far I've kept my balance, but I'm still doing my best to make sure the safety net's in good repair.

Given all that, here's my best advice, given that I don't know anything about your specific situation. You'll immediately see that some of it I've had to learn through trial and error - but when I make a mistake, I do try my best to learn from it.

(1) You will always have enemies. Never fool yourself into believing otherwise. Given this, remember that there are two kinds of enemies: those you know, and those you don't. The enemies you know are best, because you can defend against them, and you can point them out to your people and allies as a focus of hatred that will unite them in your favor. A visible enemy makes an excellent scapegoat upon which to blame your people's problems. (2) Trust no-one, but let others trust you. Since there are always enemies who keep themselves hidden from you, you should be wary of even your closest friend. But, at the same time, you should never let people know that you mistrust them. If they're trustworthy, they'll be glad that you have faith in them; and if they're not, they may be lulled into a false sense of security. In general, a person with the reputation of being a loyal friend and an implacable enemy is admired. If you have the reputation of being loyal to every friend, and hunting down and destroying every enemy, then nobody will want to be your enemy. Always take a side in any disagreement, because then you'll have at least one side indebted to you. Neutrality is never trusted, and the neutral has no allies.

(3) Make people believe that you are indispensable. If you aren't needed, you aren't safe. As long as you're needed, you can get away with almost anything. If a situation should arise where you aren't needed, take steps immediately to rectify it, either in actuality or in popular belief.

(4) Be a dictator rather than a negotiator. Always consider the ramifications of your decisions thoroughly, but once that decision is made, make sure that it is irrevocable. You want others to trust you. Nobody trusts someone with a reputation for being fickle, frivolous, or irresolute. They do trust someone (even if they don't necessarily like him) who always stands by his word. People can trust those they consider lawful, but can never trust those they consider chaotic.

(5) Be a miser rather than a philanthropist. Keep what is your own. When you receive a windfall from some other source, that is what you want to give away, since it won't detract from your own wealth. It doesn't hurt to be thought liberal, it only hurts to be liberal. If you give away your money and possessions, you'll finally end up with nothing. Then you'll have to beg or demand money, and the first will make people think that you're weak, while the second will make people think that you're arrogant.

(6) Be cruel rather than too kind. Remember, it is best to be thought ruthless toward your enemies and unswerving in your word. One or two grim, public acts of punishment for a crime that offends you will keep your people and allies united and obedient. Too much leniency might lead them to abuse their freedom. Then you'll have to respond harshly and at greater length than if you'd simply set a clear and firm example from the start. It's better to be feared than to be loved, since fear lasts longer than love. Avoid being hated. It isn't necessary to be loved or even liked, but being hated will always hurt you and your cause. In general, it is possible to be feared and still not hated. As long as you set out clear guidelines for your behavior, and stand by them, and avoid interfering with anyone's private belongings or loved ones, even those who don't like you should have no reason to hate you.

(7) Never keep your word if (a) doing so would harm you or your cause, and (b) the original reason for your giving that word has been removed. You don't want to gain a reputation for breaking your word, but if you can break your word without worrying about the consequences, and it is better to break your word than keep it, then don't let false ideals keep you on the wrong course.

(8) Your reputation is more important than your actions. Always be polite, even with your enemies, since manners cost nothing. Always seem to be merciful, faithful, humane, religious and upright, but don't hold these qualities in such high esteem that you practice them when it might hurt you. People judge appearances first and far more often than they judge actions, so what you do without their knowledge won't hurt you. Moreover, people judge more often on results than on means, so as long as your results are amenable to them, and nothing hateful about you has been brought to their attention, they won't bother worrying about how those results were attained.

Personally, I think this last guideline is the most important, but then, it's the point my father drilled into me most thoroughly and the one that's caused me the most trouble when broken and given me the best pay-off when kept. There's a mage I'm currently travelling with named Sindarion who proves this last point beyond the last shadow of a doubt - he's rude and obnoxious to almost everyone, and as a result, there isn't a person he knows who would lift a finger to help him if he got into trouble. In fact, he has, and they haven't. He even managed to irritate Danny, who is one of the most forgiving people I know (I don't know why you would have thought Danny and I wouldn't be speaking - if there's one person likely to make me forget my own advice about trusting others, it's him).

At any rate, I hope this is of some use. As far as the practical problem of actually opening the dialogue, my suggestion is a calling card with your name and rank or qualifications printed on it. I've found a calling card quite useful in all sorts of situations - it falls under the "always be polite" strategy. Oh, and let me add what I suppose is guideline number nine - spare no expense to hire the best lawyer in town. You want all of your accounts, contracts, wills and so on to be as airtight as possible. Get a dragon as a lawyer, if you can. Not that I have one, but it was a dragon who pointed out the loophole in the contract my lawyer did draft for me, much to his chagrin - some obscure point of law written a few centuries ago, I understand.

As for other matters, Callous and Morshasha are doing well, and their son - my godson - has a great deal of promise. Simon has recently been promoted in his guild, and I understand that he is now more or less untouchable by the law. I see little of his wife, and nothing of Crugel. Brandon is off on a "dwarven glory-quest," whatever that might be, but before he left he had a group of engineers from his clan build my new house, which was good of him. Zorbo was recently kidnapped again, so a group of us went to Thion to free him - I guess the draconians are rallying. Hopefully, it won't involve us. I am currently on Simon's ship, The Headless Elf, as we plan to distract a clan of sea-wolves in order to capture a gith who collects the hostages for a mindflayer from whom we have been hired to free an elven woman. Personally, I have little hope for the overall success of the mission, but we'll see what the gith has to say. Since my part is simply to provide the illusionary distraction, I've taken the time to reply while the others plot.

I expect to be busy or dead in the near future, so I may be less prompt in replying to any further mail.

Mikhael