THE GLENZOR QUOTEBOOK
Last updated 7/20/98

Glenzor Campaign 1 (Santa Barbara): 1987-1990
Vic/Simon: What? I'm not like Fea. I don't let my wisdom get in the way of my intelligence.

Jeff/DM: You walk into the room and see a flaming brassiere.
Players: A flaming BRASSIERE?!?
DM: Uh, brazier, brazier!

Alberic, the unlucky drow, was breathed on twice by a red dragon inside her volcano lair, and then plunged 60 feet down into molten lava. With resurrection in mind, Fea dashed down on her flying carpet and grabbed the last remaining sliver of bone. Returning to the party, she exclaimed: Look, drow are black on the INSIDE, too!

Simon: I throw a coin in the room.
DM: Okay, nothing happens.
Simon: That's safe enough for me! (He jumps into the room and vanishes)

Fea to Simon: You holler if she kills you, really, really loud.

Mysterious female to Simon in sewer: Here, hold my hand.
Simon: Uh...nah, you can't fool me. That's the oldest trick in the book. C'mon, show me your true evil self!

Marlin/Callous: Baron Zorbo and I are on a first-name basis. I pushed him up four flights of stairs.
DM: Yeah, you're the one who said, "Move your fat ass!"
Callous: See, we're on a first-name basis.

Glenzor Campaign 2 (Los Angeles/Glendale): 1994-1996
Jaime/Cassia: Simon, your cowardice is showing.
Simon: No, my wisdom.

Simon: Do you have any enemies?
Yamalia: I lead a peaceful life.
Simon: (aside) All her enemies are dead.

Simon: Aw, you missed.
Sailor: You said to fire a warning shot!
Simon: I didn't say it had to miss.

Dru/Mikhael: Nic, bring the carriage around front. I don't want to break anything.
Jo/Nicholai: Like what, a sweat?

Nicholai to Mikhael, in the army: Fuck you, SIR!

Simon: Oh, yeah, there I was trapped in a wall of ice, saying to myself, 'Great, it'll take me a century to get out. Good thing I'm an elf!'

Jaime/Sindaraen: My life isn't worth living. My death isn't worth dying.

Rob, not a player, about Sindaraen: Forgive me Father, for I am Sind.

Jaime (after reading the Scintillating Company's dossiers): This group doesn't need adventures. It needs therapy!

Goblin: You are lonely, crazy elf.
Simon: I'm not lonely.

Simon, teleporting on the Ethereal Plane with Laurie's dead body into a room full of angry Xill: Well, made it here.

Orcish military leader: Part of building trust involves betraying and being betrayed.

DM: It's evening anyways that night.

Vic, OOC, around dinnertime: I'm a cannibal at heart.
DM, later that night, proving that it's tough to DM when you're hungry: Is your wall of pork spicy?

The Scintillating Company, undercover, pretends to be students on a field trip:
NPC: What are you doing?
Players:Research.
NPC: What kind of research?
Player 1: Uh, ask the professor.
Player 2:Uh, I lost my notebook.

Simon, to the monster: I'm the bait, get real.

Callous/DM: Why would I torment myself by going to the Elvish opera?
Simon: So you can boo.

Sindaraen: Before we go shopping, should we kill the assassin?

Nicholai: Necromancy's just a tool÷really, what's the difference between a Choke and a Fireball?
Cassia: Fireball leaves a taint on the sidewalk; Choke leaves a taint on your soul!

Mikhael (as the group tries to decide how best to present a conquered Dragon Mountain to a dwarven friend on the eve of his coronation and wedding): We're the Scintillating Company. We're understated.

Glenzor Campaign 3 (Los Angeles/Santa Monica): Nov. 1997-?
Femir (a gold dragonnette, about money and other valuables): It's not safe unless it's under your butt.

DM (on phone to a player who's moved to Virginia, about certain strange changes in the game): And the other order of business is, your husband is a woman.

Nicholai: So what happened with the baku?
Simon: That's a dead issue.

Nicholai: She's not my familiar, she's my fiancee!

Cassia: I think the monsters are in trouble and are crying out for help.
Mikhael: I think the monsters are evil and should be destroyed.
Cassia: How about I meet you halfway? The monsters are crying out for help and we'll probably end up destroying them.

Mikhael (as a Creeping Doom is dropped on the battlefield): Oh, fuck!
Simon (outside, listening in): There you go again ... all that fucking and I'm not included!
Mikhael: Well, come on in and get fucked with the rest of us, then.

Cassia, re: Callous: So subtle you can hear the "b."

Cassia (accusingly): Did you kill him in his sleep?
Mikhael (defensively): No. He woke up, then he died.

Mikhael's Breakfast of Champions: Ashes of my truename, followed with a laudanum chaser.

THE ARTISTIC QUOTE

Simon was eaten by griffons and later ended up determing Company policy toward its enemies:

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